[PoT] Having, PG, Angst, FujiRyo/TezuRyo

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Title: Having
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Pairing: FujiRyo, TezuRyo (<-omgwtf?)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine.

Fuji muses on the differences between "having" and "had."


Having
by meitachi

I had him first. I was the first to touch that skin and to make that face flush so prettily. I made him moan and cry and I was the one he screamed for.

I had him first, Tezuka. Don’t forget that.

I was the one who taught him that dating could be as fun as tennis. I was the one who watched him learn what felt good and what made him go cross-eyed with need. I was the one he’d seek, the one he wanted, the one he stared at with fever-bright eyes, voice pleading hoarsely.

I had him. And you’ll never have him the way I did.

He may have walked away. He may have left, saying that I didn’t open up, that I didn’t care. He may have found you. You, who were waiting oh-so-patiently for him to go to you, because you knew he’d leave me.

He doesn’t understand.

But you do, don’t you, Tezuka?

We’re similar; we both want him. We’ve both felt those kisses, and touched that skin, heard those cries… But we’re not the same, you and I.

I had him first.

You have him now.

…I hate you for that. I hate you for taking him. I hate you for not hating me when I had him because you knew he would leave.

Most of all, I hate you for having him.

We used to talk, him and me, and I would tease him and he would sulk. But he’d crawl into my lap because he wanted to be there.

He wanted me.

He wanted me first.

You understand, don’t you? You’re second prize. Second place. Second choice.

He’s with you because he can’t have me.

I’ll never let you forget that, Tezuka.

I had him first.

--
Posted: 01.09.2005