[Super Junior] A Record of the Hardships of Kim Kibum, PG, Humor/Romance, KiHae

[meiface.livejournal.com]

This is my birthday fic for myself! It got really long even though it was meant to be short. How did this happen? Also, don't be fooled, the fic is actually completely gratuitious and pointless. (Really pointless.)

Sorry Yesung, in my world, my birthday > your birthday, even though I'm sure most people disagree (and even though you are totally a much better singer than I will ever be, haha).

This fic is based off Super Junior's vacation! :3 Aren't they cute? Except for, as coyotecolored noted, Kibum's FML face. And so was born this fic. For my birthday, I made Kibum's life miserable, lol.

NB: FML = fmylife.com

A Record of the Hardships of Kim Kibum
Super Junior, Kibum/Donghae, PG, 3170 words
Super Junior goes on vacation, and Kibum documents his FMLs.


A Record of the Hardships of Kim Kibum
by meiface

Today, Super Junior went on vacation. Which isn't so bad, except they dragged me along. FML.

"I love the ocean!" Donghae exclaimed excitedly, clutching at Heechul, eyes shining.

"We can barbecue meat!" Heechul announced, looking gleeful.

"Pretty girls in swimsuits," Eunhyuk sighed blissfully, visions of said pretty girls dancing in his mind, possibly doing pirouettes, possibly doing a striptease. It was really up to anyone's guess.

"Like they'd do anything more than walk past you to get to me," Kangin snorted, wrapping him in a headlock. He grinned over Eunhyuk's flailing arms at Eeteuk, who stood in the sea of chaos like it was normal because it was. "I plan on having so many girls at my feet, some may even overflow to you."

"You're an ass," Eeteuk told him laughing, "and I renounce all leaderly duties while on vacation." He tapped his nose with a beam. "I temporarily abdicate my position. Who wants to step in?"

Heechul almost yanked Donghae's arm out as he leaped to his feet, hand flying up in the air. "Temporary ruler! I want this position! None of the long-term responsibilities, just the power to command people at my will!"

"Don't you do that already, hyung?"

Heechul grinned at Siwon and waggled a finger. "Ah, but now no one can use Eeteuk to counter my decisions. 'Jungsu-hyung wouldn't approve of that'," he mocked, elbowing Siwon, who flushed guiltily. It was obvious he'd used the very same excuse before.

"We should think about what to pack," Ryeowook interjected calmly.

"Don't forget your swimming trunks," Sungmin put in.

"I swim in the nude," Kangin leered, and everyone made horrified faces as he laughed at them. He was a cruel man, Kangin.

"Hankyung, Shindong, Kyuhyun, and Yesung can't come," Eeteuk added as they recovered from varying stages of trauma. He knew this because, as leader, he had learned to be omniscient. The skills evidently remained, even when he'd temporarily abdicated his position. "They're busy still, but they can join us later."

If Eeteuk were omniscient, then Donghae just had very good member sense - like spider sense but specifically triggered by the other members (but the same kind of tingling). Donghae suddenly looked around and let go of Heechul to latch onto Kibum, who was trying to make a very subtle exit from the back, before his band remembered that he had come to see them in the dorms today. They had gotten accustomed to missing his presence for a few months, surely they wouldn't notice if he slipped out now...

"Kibummie!" Donghae exclaimed, throwing his arms around him, because he might have tingling senses like Spiderman, but he had arms like a barnacle. If, you know, a barnacle had arms. "You're coming too, okay? It can be like your birthday present! A trip to the ocean!"

Immediately, the other seven in the room turned towards him with intent in their eyes, closing in around him with, in Kibum's opinion, evil smiles that promised day after day of hectic, unrelenting Super Junior chaos.

"You should come, we've missed you," Siwon said earnestly.

Heechul's teeth glinted. "Yes, Kibummie, do come," he purred. Donghae's arm locked around his neck stubbornly. Kibum sighed.

And that was how he got dragged onto a road trip to the ocean with the loudest, craziest, biggest family in Seoul.



Today, I was riding in the SUV with Donghae...and Mr. Perfect Siwon. FML.

"Aren't you excited?" Sungmin obviously was, his voice brimming with emotion. He was grinning widely at Kibum, who dragged his eyes from where Donghae was draped all over Siwon in the seat in front of them, peering out of Siwon's side window.

"Uh," he said intelligently, and obviously just as excited as Sungmin was.

"The beach will be so much fun! It's been so long since we've had a vacation! I love the ocean." Sungmin fiddled with his mp3 player and glanced at Kibum again. "Don't you love the ocean?"

"Yes," he said emotionlessly, because he just couldn't muster up the energy to use that many exclamation points.

Sungmin's smile faltered slightly and took on a confused tilt.

"Love it," he repeated, returning his glare to the seat in front, where the ocean was feeling up Siwon's abdomen in envy.

But the ocean apparently couldn't care less if he existed. Damn that unfeeling ocean.



Today, we reached the ocean at six in the morning. The sun was just rising, the view was beautiful, and I looked like shit. Guess who looked perfect? Yep, Mr. Handsome Siwon. FML.

"Get out," Heechul announced when everyone had parked and was milling around in the parking lot. "And get over here. We're taking a group photo!"

"But hyung," Kibum started, more than aware of the fact they'd all spent most of the night awake, driving, and squished in cars. Bed hair might not be attractive, but traveling-on-the-road-in-the-middle-of-the-night hair was even less so.

Donghae pulled a cap out of his car, flipped it by the brim with a grin and slapped it on his head. "By this bench!" he said, and inner Kibum started grumbling about how bloody unfair it was how some people could not only be cheerful and energetic at six in the morning, but also look so good doing it.

Someone in the universe hated him. Kibum was fairly sure it was Siwon. Or maybe Siwon's existence just proved that the universe hated him. He wasn't quite sure if his logic was circular at this point, but was also six in the bloody morning, and Donghae was still grinning at him, eyes alight.

Damn it.

"Stand here, no, don't make that stupid face, what are you, retarded?" Heechul ran about arranging people, then handed off the camera to the manager who'd come along with them. "Take three, just to be sure!" Then he crouched in front of Kangin and Eeteuk and posed.

Snap.

Donghae licked his lips and gave the camera a come-hither look.

Snap.

Donghae wrapped an arm around Eunhyuk's shoulders, heads bent together.

Snap.

Donghae dropped to a crouch and Kibum's expression dropped into a scowl.

And it was the third picture that Heechul decided to post later. Of course.



Today, we went swimming in the ocean. And I got embarrassingly hard seeing Donghae with his shirt off. FML.

"Yah," said Heechul, kicking a small shower of sand onto Kibum's crossed legs. "What the hell are you doing here, just sitting? Get into the water!"

Kibum shaded his eyes and looked up. "I'm fine where I am, hyung," he replied calmly, proud that his voice didn't give anything away. He had taken his t-shirt off but was still resting under the shade of the umbrella, his shirt pooled in his lap. For a good reason, not that he was about to share that reason with Heechul, who towered over him, hands on his hips as he glared.

"You're so lame," Heechul complained. "Why won't you play with us?"

Kibum's eyes flickered out to the ocean, where Donghae and Kangin and Eunhyuk and Siwon were splashing around. Eunhyuk jumped on Kangin's back to start a water fight, and Donghae retaliated by climbing on top of Siwon, hands slipping and sliding over all that tanned, muscled, bare skin.

Kibum's eyes narrowed.

"You," Heechul repeated slowly and clearly, following his gaze, "are. So. Lame."

"Leave him alone, Heechul," Eeteuk mumbled from beneath the cap he'd put over his face. He laid stretched out on his back beneath the umbrella, looking as if he wasn't about to move anytime soon.

Heechul smirked. "You're not leader, I don't have to listen to you." He kicked Kibum's knee again and Kibum frowned but stayed resolutely in place, and tried not to think too hard about how Donghae was also all bare, tan skin out there, with water dripping all over him, which would dry into little salt tracks that Kibum could lick off later...

"I hope you get heat stroke," Heechul said, watching a flush creep over Kibum's face.

"Heechul!" Eeteuk said irritably.

Heechul shrugged and marched off to drag Ryeowook and Sungmin into the fracas in the water. Kibum sat very still and thought very unsexy thoughts and it all went to hell when Donghae ran across the beach to him, golden and dripping and beautiful.

"Come play with us, Kibummie," he cajoled, snatching Kibum's arm with his wet hand and tugging. "You have to even up the teams and Teukie-hyung's old!"

Eeteuk grumbled something inarticulate.

And because Kibum was a weak thing to soft brown eyes and that smile (that damned smile, another piece of evidence the universe had it out for him), he agreed. "Just...give me five?" he asked with a pained smile, trying to will away the tremble of lust that had made his body jump when Donghae touched him.

Now he was left wondering if it were possible to get into the ocean and jerk off without anyone noticing.

Probably not.

His life sucked.



Today, we played a game of soccer and lost, horribly. FML.

It was inevitable, considering his team was made of Heechul, Eunhyuk, Kangin, Eeteuk, and himself. The other team had Donghae, Ryeowook, Sungmin, and Siwon.

Even when Heechul had complained loudly about the other team having the advantage with Horse Siwon, Donghae had only thrown up his arms and said, "But you guys have five people!" He was eager to get on with playing, and no one could really hold an argument with him, not when this whole trip was really his idea, and really, in the end, a present to him, with the aching sadness in his eyes in recent weeks.

Donghae loved the ocean almost as deeply as he loved his father...and they could only give him one, so they took him, and they made it the best they could. So Heechul sighed deeply, looking maligned, but said nothing more, and even Kangin couldn't make up for how good Donghae was with a soccer ball, and how athletic Siwon was in general.

It didn't help that Eunhyuk was about as good at soccer as Eeteuk was - meaning, abysmal - and Kibum really spent the entire time staring at the way the sweat made Donghae's shirt stick to his back, the way it stuck his hair together in dark little points. He followed Donghae's calves, the way his feet weaved with the ball, the way he panted and grinned and threw up his arms in victory when he scored.

They lost six-to-one. It was pretty embarrassing, and Kibum didn't care, because Donghae was laughing and happy and - hey, there was no need to jump into Siwon's arms in celebration like that.

Hey.



Today, over dinner, Kangin decided to ask nosy questions about everyone's love life. Including mine. FML.

"Not answering means you do have someone you like," Kangin crowed, tossing back his beer and waving the empty can around for emphasis. Sungmin ducked his arm and continued flipping the meat on the barbecue with a slight roll of his eyes.

At least some people were more interested in the food than in Kibum's love life. Not many though. Eunhyuk was distracted, sending a text, but everyone else was staring wide-eyed at Kibum, expectant. Donghae looked particularly curious, at Kibum's elbow, and leaning into his side with a smear of sauce next to his mouth.

Kibum might be slightly distracted.

"Um," he said eloquently, "maybe. Yeah."

If he'd thought he could just stop at that - he was deeply, deeply mistaken. Perhaps too many months away from Super Junior had hastened Kibum's forgetting that every member was nosy and tenacious to a fault about that nosiness. They were all about learning the others' secrets - Kangin in particular.

His eyes gleamed in the twilight. "Who, Kibummie? Who. That's the important part. You gotta give us a name."

Kibum wasn't sure why he "gotta". He really didn't feel like it.

"It's someone in the group," Heechul announced, because he was a bastard like that. Kibum flashed him a betrayed look and was met in return by Heechul's cavalier smile. Apparently he was still put out by earlier, when Kibum wouldn't heed his orders to jump around in the ocean. This temporary leader thing was really going to head, Kibum decided.

The reactions to Heechul's words were varied expressions of surprise - outright gasps from Eeteuk and Sungmin to a pleased little, "Really?" from Ryeowook. Donghae was surprisingly silent, looking thoughtful as he weighed Kibum with his gaze.

And, really, his was the only reaction that mattered. Kibum eyed him.

"Name," Kangin demanded again, this time echoed by Eunhyuk and Eeteuk.

"Obey your hyungs, you brat," Heechul added affectionately, because Kibum was still one of his favorites, which was why he liked to mess with him. "You know we won't mock you for it...much." Kibum turned to look at him, because he was pretty sure Heechul had already figured out.

"We'll support you," Ryeowook put in.

Kibum shook his head. "I'll tell one person only."

"Me," Kangin and Eeteuk said immediately.

Donghae brightened visibly when Kibum shook his head again, firmly. "No, I'll tell Donghae-hyung."

Eeteuk looked disappointed and Kangin opened his mouth to argue, so Kibum added, "Please. You two know the reputation you have for being blabbermouths."

"This is true," Eunhyuk needled with a grin, and Sungmin exclaimed, "Okay, meat's ready!" and the subject was effectively changed, as they all pounced for the rare treat of as much barbecue as they wanted.

Donghae squeezed Kibum's arm as they ate though, smiling at him. "Tell me tonight, okay?" he whispered and Kibum's heart jumped a little, because Donghae was like an electric shock to his system. Probably not a good thing, but something he found he couldn't live without. And clearly the electric shock had affected his brain, because Kibum didn't remember thinking thoughts nearly this cheesy before.

He said nothing, just smiled in return and squeezing Donghae's hand lightly.

Maybe by the time he actually confessed, he would be able to not come off like a girl in a TV drama confessing to her childhood love.

It was a good goal. He'd work on that.



Today, I confessed. Or tried to. I was interrupted at the perfect moment by fucking Horse Siwon. FML.

"Hyung," Kibum said, pulling Donghae to a seat next to him on the bench. "Let's sit for a while."

Donghae seemed amenable, leaning against him and staring out at the night, ocean and sky and land lost in the darkness. It reminded Kibum of when they had been filming the movie together, sitting on that bench on set, staring at the darkened park. There was a sort of camaraderie in their silences together, familiar and warm.

"I'm glad you could come with us," Donghae told him.

Kibum's heart did that hop-skip-jump thing again. "I'm glad I could come too," he said haltingly. "I know how much the ocean means to you."

Donghae turned to look at him, eyes luminous in the faint light. He looked so young then, innocent and unworldly, and yet so old, so painfully aware of the hardest losses in life. He lifted a hand to ruffle Kibum's hair, long and brushing his shoulders, and Kibum's breath hitched. This was the moment of his confession--

--and then Siwon stumbled onto their bench, unbalanced, a Frisbee in one hand. "Whoa! Sorry, sorry," he said, untangling himself and gesturing wildly. "I'm so sorry! Are you guys okay?"

Donghae waved it off, grinning, teasing him about his lack of coordination. Kibum gritted his teeth and tried not to punch Mr. Perfect Timing in the face.

He sighed and dropped his head into his hands.

The universe really had it out for him.



Today, Eeteuk stole my bed. FML.

Kibum blinked at the body curled up on the bed he'd been assigned and resisted the urge to start cursing out the universe. Really. He was usually a pretty laid back kind of guy, but today was just really turning out to be ridiculous. Had he really accumulated this much bad karma in his past life?

Grabbing his duffel bag with a sigh, he went hunting for Eeteuk's bed. His steps slowed when he realized that Eeteuk was sharing a room with Donghae. Donghae, who was half-naked again, wearing only a pair of loose gym shorts as he sat on his bed, texting someone.

"Hyung?" He dropped his bag by the foot of the unoccupied bed and swallowed hard when Donghae turned damp eyes up at him. "Hyung, what's wrong?" Unconsciously, he moved over to sit next to Donghae, wrapping his arms around him. "Hyung."

Donghae sniffled slightly, put his phone beside him. "I just miss him," he said softly, leaning into Kibum's embrace. "It's been...sort of hard recently. Especially out at the ocean."

Kibum tightened his hold. "I'm sorry," he murmured as his heart lurched.

"Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Why I'm doing what I'm doing..."

"For him, hyung. For his dream. For his memory."

Kibum remembered these conversations from the past, back when he was still around, when Donghae was still around, and they were always making each other laugh. Back when Donghae could have anyone's ears, anyone's sympathy and comfort, but how he often ended up with Kibum as his confidante when he just didn't feel like burdening Heechul again and again. He remembered late nights and quiet crying and his heart hurting as he tried to be everything he could and more for Donghae.

He remembered the way Donghae would eventually still, his breathing evening out. He remembered how Donghae would eventually calm, draw himself together, and smile a wavering little smile as he thanked Kibum.

He...didn't really remember Donghae sliding warm palms over his cheeks and drawing their mouths together.

He didn't remember their lips meeting, gentle and careful, or Donghae murmuring, "It's me you like, right, Kibummie?"

He didn't remember kisses, because this was their first one.

He would always remember this one.

"Yeah," he said, and felt Donghae smile and press closer.



Today, Heechul interrupted my make-out session with Donghae. FML.

"You're lucky I like you, Snow White," Heechul said with a smirk.

Kibum raised an eyebrow, feeling a little resentful. "I don't know how lucky I feel that you interrupted, hyung." His voice might have slid into something of a sulk near the end, but damn it, he was allowed. Donghae was a very good kisser.

Heechul smacked the back of his head. "Damned lucky it's not going all over the internet."

Kibum sighed. "I'm so lucky you like me, hyung." To himself, he thought: But I wish you'd let Donghae stick around and continue showing me how much he likes me.



Today, Donghae sat next to me the whole way back, hand in mine, head on my shoulder, and sneaking kisses when no one was looking. Ha ha, take that, Prince Siwon! Fuck your life.

("I've been getting weird looks from Kibum lately," Siwon complained to Hankyung, who petted his arm sympathetically and told him he must be imagining it.)



--

Started: 2009.08.23
Finished: 2009.08.24

Notes: In my head, the only reason Kyu didn't come along on this first trip was because he still had SJM related things to do. Such as Zhou Mi. They will be along shortly, I'm suuuure. ;D