[Super Junior] Principles v. Peer Pressure, PG, Humor/Crack, bandfic

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Ryeowook got a Twitter yesterday; Yesung signed up for one today. This is silly and pointless and I will never again be able to write serious, substantial fic. :( My life is hard. Okay, not really, because I am busy devouring awesome longfic, but don't expect any more writing for ages and ages and ages and— You get the idea, right?

Principles v. Peer Pressure
Super Junior (M), bandfic, PG, 1000 words
Kyuhyun resists the idea of getting a Twitter.


Kyuhyun doesn't even have to do the math. Heechul has dragged him to Eunhyuk's room, which has a whiteboard, which Heechul has evidently commandeered. In blue and red marker, Heechul has written it all out very clearly.

"Yah," he says, parking Kyuhyun on the edge of Eunhyuk's bed next to a grinning Donghae. Eunhyuk sits at his desk with a vaguely maligned expression. It's not unusual. Heechul clears his throat. "Listen up, Kyuhyunnie. I'm going to make this very simple for you so you can understand."

"My ear surgery went fine," Kyuhyun snarks back. "I'm not deaf, hyung."

Donghae giggles and Heechul smirks a little bit. At least he appreciates Kyuhyun's humor.

"No, you idiot, I'm not worrying about your hearing. There might've been side effects of brain damage. So listen." He rolls right over whatever Kyuhyun might say by turning towards the whiteboard and pointing imperiously at the list in blue.

"I have a Twitter account. Shindong and Donghae have Twitter accounts. So do Siwon, Henry, Sungmin, and Leeteuk. Even Hyukjae got one." The member in question quirks a brow like he's not sure what that's supposed to mean. Heechul ignores him. "Most recently, Ryeowookie and Yesung got accounts too. Do you know what that means?"

"That you've all succumbed to peer pressure and have no spines?" Kyuhyun asks in his mildest, politest tones.

"Kyuhyun!" Donghae whacks him half-heartedly in the arm.

Heechul glares. "No! It means that of the remaining active members, other than Seasoning, who's in China where Twitter is blocked and he got the Chinese equivalent anyway - other than him, you are the only active member who doesn't have a Twitter account." He stabs pointedly at the column in red.

"I stand up for my principles."

"What principles?" Donghae queries, brow furrowed.

Kyuhyun maintains his neutral expression. "I hate this fad social phenomena, pushing everyone to imitate intimacy on the internet when in reality it is only enforcing the distance between people because it discourages face-to-face interactions and actual camaraderie while distilling all communications into nothing more than typed words and vague meanings."

Heechul, Donghae, and Eunhyuk gape at him.

Kyuhyun allows himself a little smile, careful to keep it from turning into a full-blown smirk. "It's merely a facsimile of human interaction and I refuse to bow down to it simply because it's popular. Social networking will be the death of us all."

He gets to his feet and heads towards the door.

Donghae's voice is sad. "So...does that mean you're not going to get a Twitter account?"

Eunhyuk says disgustedly, "Oh my god you are so dumb."

As Kyuhyun leaves the room, he can still hear from behind him Donghae's protests. "Oh, like you have any idea what he just said!"

--

"Huh," says Henry, when Heechul turns to him for help or an explanation or just a half-decent pot of ramyun. "Sounds like what a lot of my friends were saying about Facebook back when it was just getting popular." He shrugs and leans forward to slurp up some more noodles. "They all gave in eventually though. It got too huge to avoid."

Heechul has a satisfied expression on his face. This is good news. This means that Kyuhyun will eventually capitulate. He eats his ramyun smugly.

Donghae looks at Henry, eye bright and curious. "What's Facebook?"

--

"You should get one," Ryeowook says, putting his chin on Kyuhyun's shoulder and smiling up at him. "It's kinda nice, being close to the fans like that."

Kyuhyun regards Ryeowook with a cross between fondness and skepticism.

"Okay, I know," Ryeowook laughs. Kyuhyun's hardly the poster child for "let's be close with the fans!" He thinks most of them are crazy. Coddling them is really left up to Leeteuk or Donghae most of the time. "But it's not all terrible," Ryeowook persists. "And we'd get to talk to you!"

Kyuhyun pats Ryeowook's hand and goes back to staring at the TV. "You guys can always call or text me, Ryeowook. Or, I don't know, walk into the next room to see me."

Ryeowook sighs.

--

"Do not get a Facebook. Hyung! Keep him from getting a Facebook." Henry looks frantic. "If he gets a Facebook, it will eat his life, and then he won't be a good idol anymore and then Super Junior will fail and then all the angry fangirls will rise up and kill me in my sleep."

--

"Would you really hate getting a Twitter that much?"

Kyuhyun rolls his eyes at the phone, forgetting that Zhou Mi can't see him. Still, the annoyed tone conveys his feelings. "You too?"

"It's really not that bad!"

"I'm not the kind of person you are, Mi. I like my privacy. I don't really like oversharing with the fans."

Zhou Mi's voice is gentle. "I know. But you can choose what to share with them, you know. It's an invitation to see only what you want to show them, nothing more." Then humor creeps into his voice. "And I can't see you posting pictures of you and Eunhyuk almost kissing, the way Donghae does."

Kyuhyun laughs, sharply. "God forbid."

"Think about it."

--

Shindong and Sungmin eye each other warily over the table where they've gone out drinking. "Ten thousand on Heechul wearing him down," Shindong says, slapping the table. "He won't stand a chance."

Sungmin purses his lips. "Ten thousand on Kyuhyun resisting. He can be a right stubborn bastard when he wants to be. Don't underestimate him."

"Two weeks," Shindong says, raising an eyebrow.

"You're on."

--

In the end, Kyuhyun comes to sort of a compromise with himself. He signs up for Twitter, but he doesn't tell any of the other members what his username is.

"Kyuhyun," Eeteuk says disconsolately.

He just grins at them. They'll never find him.

In the meantime, he tweets them obnoxious things in Korean and bad English, talking like an overexcited fourteen-year-old fan. He's smug in his disguise. Never has he blended in so well.




--

Started/Finished: 2010.06.07