[SJ] All We Have is Here & Now, NC-17, KiHae

[meiface.livejournal.com]

"I'm writing a KiHae AU!" I said. Turns out it's roughly 10% AU and 90% PWP. Who to blame? My general inability to write AUs or KiHae for being so single-minded? Either way, here you go: a KiHae AU that is over 8000 words long and still manages to be little more than porn without plot. Those fuckers.


All We Have is Here & Now
Super Junior, Kibum/Donghae, NC-17, 8725 words
AU. Three years later, Donghae runs into someone unexpected at the club. He decides to forget the past and to just live for the moment.


With a schedule like Donghae's, he spent most nights training into the night at the company. If it wasn't rehearsing, it was figuring out new dance routines. Being choreographer and dancer to a big name like Kim Heechul was really an exercise in pros and cons - already more than Donghae had ever dreamed of as a kid, but frustrating all the same when Heechul managed to mangle, with dedication, dance after dance. "It's a talent," the asshole would say, managing to sound supercilious even when panting for breath. "God already gave me this face, he couldn't give me the ability to dance too." But then he'd grin and Donghae would be hard-pressed to hate him because, honestly, there was a reason Kim Heechul was such a superstar and it wasn't due to his looks alone. Somehow that personality got under your skin too, a surprising, unexpected kind of charm...

The night off was a rare thing for Donghae, but Heechul was in Japan for the week - a blitz of interviews and shows that didn't require Donghae's back-up performances. Donghae had finished one of the newest routines two days earlier, so tonight, he was out on the town. He'd sort of forgotten it could get like this, the crush of people that were interested in each other rather than the celebrity on some stage. It was a nice change, blending into the crowd under the low lights of the clubs, no spotlights, no screams, just the heavy thrum of bass over the low roar of voices.

It was also nice to dance without thought to choreography for once, just moving to the beat. Donghae danced with girls and he danced with guys, an indiscriminate slide against bodies and more bodies, exchanging quick grins or a teasing slink of the hips. No pressure. Out here, it was all for fun. Do as you will.

God, it'd been a while since he'd gotten laid. The thought filtered through his mind as one particularly adventurous girl slung a leg high around his thigh and ground against him. The flirtatious expression let him know she wasn't looking for anything more than a quick high on the dance floor, but the way her hips moved against his still had him getting a little hot under the collar - and a little tight under the belt.

"Sweetheart," he said, bending his head so his mouth was pressed against her ear, her dangling earring swinging against his skin, "it's not nice to tease."

"I'm having a good time," she laughed back. Her hands locked around his neck and she shimmied.

It wasn't like he was looking to bring anyone home, really. A one night stand - well, Donghae couldn't say he'd never thought about it, but he tended to be a relationship kind of person. He was a romantic at heart. He wanted the flowers and the romance and someone curling sweetly around him to kiss good night and good morning. Not exactly an easy thing to achieve with his hectic schedule, but he dreamed anyway. And for now, he ached a little, but he took it out on the club.

A little harmless tension dispersion, he told himself earnestly, not entirely sure he even belived himself. He was by no means a straightlaced by-the-book type; no angel like some of his friends. When a strong arm banded across his chest from behind, pulling him back into a lean, firm body, he arched his head back without thought. Mmm. Felt like a dancer; that body knew how to move. He could use a good workout on the dance floor.

Fifteen minutes later, after Donghae had thoroughly exhausted himself, he peeled himself away from the crowd and made for the bar. "Water," he said, panting, because he knew about rehydration. In his line of work, you had to. "And a rum and coke." Because it was his night out, after all. He felt the sweat stick his shirt to his back, but at least it was a black button-up. Probably wouldn't show, especially in the dark. Leaning against the bar, he wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his arm, and looked around.

"Kibum?"

He couldn't believe his eyes at first, but sitting not two stools away from him was someone he hadn't seen in over three years.

Kim Kibum grinned at him, a slow smile that was like an unveiling - his trademark. Unforgettable, even after all these years. A row of white teeth and the sweetest curve to his lips, like he had never been so happy as this moment, looking at you. One of his many talents, Donghae recalled, was his ability to make you feel like you were the center of his universe. And here it was again, pinning him to the bar as he stared like a man dying of thirst, drinking him in.

Taller, broader in the shoulders, hair a little shorter than he remembered. White shirt hugging his biceps, dark jeans, a leather cord around his throat - fuck, Donghae didn't remember that at all. Or the hint of black ink edging out from underneath the collar of his shirt, curling along the side of one neck. Tattoos? Kibum?

His water glass thunked in front of him and Donghae took it unthinkingly before circling around the nearest bar stool to Kibum's.

"Hello, Donghae," said Kibum, all politeness. His smile was unchanging. "It's been a while."

Now that he was closer, Donghae saw a glint of flashing club lights off the studs in Kibum's ears. That was new too.

This was not the Kibum Donghae had known - and known well - three years ago. "You're...different," he blurted out, because three years around Heechul had done little for his tact. Bluntness was a way of survival with him. "You've changed. This is...new." He gestured at Kibum, indicating him from head to toe.

The smile took on a wicked edge. Donghae put his water to his lips and drained. It wasn't like he'd never seen that smile before, with the things he and Kibum had been up to, but, like everything else, it seemed different. Dirtier. Kibum had grown up a bit, it seemed.

"You've changed too." Kibum pushed the rum and coke the bartender had placed in front of Donghae a little closer. "Here's your drink. It's on me."

"What are you doing these days?" Donghae traded his water glass for the drink, fingers closing around the condensation on the glass, but he made no move to sip it. He was distracted, honestly, as past collided with present in an unexpected way. When he'd dropped out of university three years ago to pursue this career path with Heechul, he'd left a lot of things behind him. Kibum had been one of them. He'd made his peace with his past, more or less, and hadn't expected to have to face everything head-on again. Three years made a person complacent, he guessed.

He'd spent the first year feeling guilty, but time ate away at even the most persistent of lingering feelings. Honestly, Donghae hadn't thought about Kibum in nearly two years. The last thing he expected was to run into him again and - so different. This was not the computer programming major he'd known, the junior who used to look at Donghae starry-eyed and do everything he could to make Donghae smile. Who used to kiss Donghae like he couldn't believe his luck and who had stopped looking at Donghae when Donghae said he was leaving, betrayal written into every line of his body, turned away.

"I'm out of school now," Kibum said. "I'm working with an agency." He named one of the biggest talent firms in Seoul and Donghae's eyes widened.

"As...computer support?" He bit his lip in some consternation. Whatever it was that Kibum did. He'd always tuned him out when he got onto his computer chatter. "Programmer?"

"Mm, actually, I model."

Donghae stared. Well, he'd always had the genes for it...

Kibum seemed content to let Donghae gawk away, draining the last of his drink, whatever it was - clear and on the rocks. Probably a vodka tonic, if his past preferences were anything to go by, but maybe Donghae shouldn't be relying on any past knowledge. Kibum was pretty obviously different. He was in the entertainment industry, for crying out loud. The thing he'd always decried as pointless, the source of an endless number of arguments between him and Donghae, when Donghae had traded in the rest of his schooling for a chance to dance. He hadn't understand what the big deal was - he had been a dance and music major; to give that up for a chance at a real career? It only made sense.

Kibum hadn't seen it that way. Kibum had valued education, loved reading, in a way Donghae had never done. And he had never seemed to reconcile himself to Donghae's choice to leave school and, essentially, in the end, leave him.

"But you," started Donghae, and then stalled when he saw Kibum pull a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "You smoke?"

Who was this person?

Kibum lit up with an ease that spoke of familiarity and Donghae's head spun. At the same time, he couldn't deny the spark that flickered to life in his belly. Kibum had always been gorgeous - apply eyeliner and the kind of smug confidence he'd never had when Donghae knew him? It was a package hard to resist, even with all the changes Donghae was trying to accept.

But he knew the sprawl of those thighs, so casually open on the bar stool. He knew those fingers that held the cigarette, that mouth so pink around the end. He knew the column of Kibum's neck, faintly damp with sweat under the lights, had tasted it, had made it arch back as Kibum moaned for him.

Changes or not, this was still Kim Kibum.

Donghae put his drink up to his mouth and considered Kibum under hooded eyes.

One thing Kim Kibum had never managed to resist was Donghae. Everything about you, hyung, Kibum had sighed back then, long-suffering but good-naturedly, his arm slung around Donghae's shoulders. Guess it was hard-wired into my DNA.

Donghae set his drink down and licked the corner of his lip. Kibum's eyes dropped there and lingered.

Maybe some things hadn't changed about Kibum.

It was like feeling blindly for an anchor in a shifting world. Donghae latched onto it and recentered himself. He adjusted his position against the bar, leaning on one arm as he cocked a hip and smiled at his ex-boyfriend. "We should catch up on everything we've missed in the past three years. You, modeling, smoking. Me, dancing with Kim Heechul."

Kibum lifted his eyes again to meet his. There was some tiny amount of surprise in them, genuine enough to satisfy Donghae. "Really? Congratulations. That's a big deal."

Damn right. But Donghae's mind had drifted, imagining leaning a little farther forward and hooking his fingers through Kibum's belt loops and seeing if he still made the same sounds with Donghae's mouth on his throat. "Yeah," he murmured, tracking the bob of Kibum's Adam's apple as he sucked on his cigarette and blew smoke back out. "Big deal. I choreograph most of his dances."

"I think I'm supposed to do an ad with him next month. For Elle."

"That's a big deal," Donghae echoed, startled despite himself. Impressive indeed, for someone who had to be fairly new in the modeling business.

Kibum dipped his head and shrugged one shoulder, an acknowledgment and a dismissal all at once. He was good. In that, he was the same; he was always good at knowing when to stay quiet and getting people to like him. Not that that had ever been a problem with Donghae, who had liked him quite a lot.

Donghae didn't want to think about the past right now, though. He hadn't revisited in years and he was happier in the present, all things said and done. The present was being pretty good to him, too, once he got over the initial shock. There was no mistaking the way Kibum was dragging on his cigarette, slow and purposeful, with his eyes trained on Donghae.

Abandoning his drink, Donghae stepped forward into Kibum's personal space and nudged one knee a little further open with his hip. His hand landed, palm down and fingers spread, on Kibum's denim-encased thigh. He let it rest there as he gauged the expression on Kibum's face.

"Something you want, Donghae?"

He was as blunt as Donghae had been earlier, but these words were spoken low and throaty, slipping out of Kibum's mouth with a billow of smoke. The club seemed to eat them up into the pulsing darkness, the throb of the bass more seductive than ever as Donghae's blood seemed to throb along with it. He couldn't seem to drag his eyes from Kibum's mouth, jaw, neck - so he had always had a bit of a fixation, all right. He could talk about pretty girls with pretty foreheads and pretty eyes as much as he wanted, but his friends had pegged him for his tastes almost immediately. Heechul took great delight in wearing oversized shirts baring his throat and collarbone and driving Donghae to distraction, and Donghae barely liked Heechul as it was. (Which, all right, was a lie. But the point stood.)

The leather cord around Kibum's throat. That was - no other word for it - hot. And the curls of ink under it - Donghae needed a better look at them too. Preferably with his tongue.

Donghae had been half-hard for a while now, since his excursions out on the dance floor that had never been meant to lead to more. Now that his body seemed to get an indication of follow-through, yhe demands were mounting, clamoring for attention and relief.

"Not if I'm the only one who wants it," Donghae said frankly. With effort, he lifted his eyes to Kibum's, a challenge and a question in them.

Though, really, the way Kibum's spread legs practically invited him in was almost an answer itself, that subtle shift under his hand. Still, Kibum grinned again - that bright smile that looked deceptively innocent - and extended his free hand to Donghae's hip. "Let's," he said, and pulled Donghae in all the way, thumb pressed along the curve of hipbone just under Donghae's belt, sending a flare of heat up Donghae's spine.

Kibum extinguished his cigarette in the ashtray on the bar and signaled the bartender to close his tab. Donghae passed the time picturing how to get his tongue under that leather collar, wondering how Kibum would taste - the same as three years ago? Different? Would he make the same sounds? By the time Kibum was tugging on his hand to leave the club, Donghae had worked himself into a state. Under the cover of darkness and the throng of bodies, he slipped his hand over his crotch to make a few subtle adjustments. Shameless and straightforward as he could be in his dances, on stage and in the club, Donghae still didn't think it was entirely appropriate to head out into public sporting a very obvious erection.

"Cab or train?" Donghae asked when they had finally broken free into the night. People milled about on the streets, a clamor of laughter and chatter amidst the traffic and music. No one noticed them, pressed against each other on the sidewalk outside the club.

Kibum stared at him as if he were crazy. "How long do you want to drag this out?"

Donghae pictured standing too close to Kibum on the subway, driving himself a little crazier with every sway of the train.

"Shit," he said, and stole the next passing cab out from under the nose of the two girls who had been waiting.

"Asshole," one of the girls called out, looking supremely put out.

Donghae didn't care, scrambling into the back seat. He did manage to catch a view of Kibum flashing the girls a filthy smile before climbing in after him. Still that hidden sense of humor then, Donghae thought fondly, as Kibum settled in beside him, thigh pressed warmly against his.

Donghae gave the cab driver the address and very stubbornly kept his hands to himself throughout the ride. If he wasn't going to go into public with an erection, he wasn't about to give some random cabbie a free show either. His dark look kept Kibum on his side of the seat, aside from that thigh along his, but he knew Kibum was probably entertaining the same kind of dirty thoughts he was. There was no mistaking where they were going or why, after all.

The anticipation made it that much sweeter. Donghae was all for instant gratification, mostly, but some things - some things were better with a little bit of waiting.

Not too much though.

They piled out of the cab at Donghae's apartment and kept a more or less respectable distance between them as they rode the elevator up to the twelfth floor.

"Nice place," said Kibum, who had never been. Of course, he'd only known Donghae in the school dormitories and from his parents' house before that.

The apartment complex he lived at now wasn't that luxurious, but it was pretty good for someone Donghae's age. His salary wasn't much to brag about, but it sufficed for his purposes; he rarely had time to spend it on anything aside from his rent, anyway. Having a roommate also helped.

Speaking of which... Odds were good that Kyuhyun was at home. He was such a shut-in sometimes, honestly. Most of the time, Donghae didn't mind, since he was rarely around and it was nice to have company when he was, but tonight, it could get a little awkward. Oh well. Donghae shrugged to himself philosophically.

As he slid his keycard into the reader, he could feel the heat of Kibum's body behind him, a breath away from touching. God, he really had gotten bigger. Taller. Donghae, to be honest, was still a little thrown. And still on edge.

He ran his tongue across the edge of his teeth and turned the handle, pausing to flash a smile over his shoulder. "Ready for this?"

"Been ready for three years," Kibum practically purred. He closed the distance between them, crowding Donghae's space and practically pushing him into the apartment, door swinging open. Donghae hooked a hand over that shoulder, fisting in the thin white shirt and exposing more ink and collarbone. His breath caught.

"Yeah," he echoed. Three years? It'd been a long time. Donghae had had others in the meantime. But Kibum - they did say you never forgot your first love. Donghae couldn't in all honesty call Kibum his first love, but he knew how it worked in reverse. He wondered if he'd live up to the memories.

Kibum's mouth had found its way to Donghae's ear, damp breath gusting over the sensitive skin. His tongue flickered over the shell and Donghae stumbled backwards into the apartment on a gasp.

At this rate, they were going to blow all the memories out of the water. This little and Donghae was already this desperate. He didn't remember that.

When he broke away from Kibum long enough to toe off his shoes, Donghae found Kyuhyun in the living room, as predicted. He was tousled and flushed and not alone, which was - well. Not that surprising. He was sprawled lengthwise along the couch, his boyfriend on top of him. Considering the disarray of his and Zhou Mi's clothes, they had probably been busy making out, but at least they were still more or less covered up. Donghae really, really did not need to walk in on his roommate having sex. Not tonight. Tonight it was his turn, okay.

"You can stay or you can get out," Donghae said bluntly, cheerfully unrepentant, "but I'm going to have sex and I suspect I'm going to be loud."

Kyuhyun's eyebrows winged up.

Kibum chuckled and slid two fingers under the waistband of Donghae's jeans, right along his spine. Donghae let out a soundless breath and dragged his gaze away from his roommate and his boyfriend. "You always were loud," Kibum said, grinning.

"Some things haven't changed," Donghae promised. He led the way to his bedroom, before he could pin Kibum to the hallway wall and get it on before Kyuhyun's curious gaze. Nosy fucking roommate.

"Be safe!" Said roommate called out from the living room.

Unbelievably obnoxious. Donghae made a face and shut his bedroom door, and put his back to it.

"You're not bothered that he'll probably hear everything?" The question was low and throaty, murmured right against his jaw by his ear, where Kibum had returned his attentions. Kibum didn't seem that interested in an answer.

Donghae gave him one anyway, a half-hearted snort. "I'm barely at home these days, it's like Kyuhyun lives on his own. Who knows how many nights he's had his boyfriend over for sex? He can put up with tonight." His fingers fumbled low between them until he got a hold of Kibum's fly. He popped the button open. Kibum reacted with a hiss that shivered along Donghae's ear, down his neck and spine, and straight to his cock.

He wet his lips and tugged the zipper down, careful around the strain of Kibum's erection. It was gratifying how hard he was. All because of Donghae.

It was nice to know that despite all this growing up Kibum had done - tattoos and piercings and modeling, really? - he still got this hard and this wet for Donghae. It made a guy smug. Donghae's fingers traced the wet patch in Kibum's briefs, circling the head with deliberate light touches.

Kibum's hips pumped forward and he moaned. "Donghae. Don't tease," he gritted out between his teeth.

"But then I wouldn't be me." Donghae's smile was quicksilver and wicked, and then disappeared against Kibum's throat as he finally put his mouth where he'd been wanting all night: right up against that skin and bone and ink. Salty with sweat with a faintly sweet undertaste of skin; the ink didn't feel different against his tongue, as he'd been half-expecting, even though he knew better. The leather cord was bitter and rough, though, a friction that sent another sharp frisson of arousal through him.

"What is this." He tugged on the cord with his teeth. "When did you get this, Kibummie? The tattoos? The piercings?" His mouth migrated upwards to catch an earlobe between his teeth, tongue worrying the stud. Kibum's hands landed on his ass and slid down into his pockets, clutching him close as their hips rocked together. Donghae nipped, prompting an answer.

"The tattoos are temporary," Kibum laughed, breathless. "They were for a photoshoot. Henna. They'll be gone in a week. The studs are for work too. You're more versatile if you have the option for them, at least. I generally keep them in, though. Keep 'em open."

His hands roamed upwards, impatient, and stripped Donghae's black button-down off his shoulders. Donghae struggled to help, freeing his arms and peeling his black tank over his head as well. He flung the whole tangled mess somewhere on his floor and turned his attention on Kibum. He got distracted halfway, frozen as he watched Kibum's arms and chest flex, pulling his shirt over his head. His hair came out ruffled, but in a way that only made Donghae want to sink his fingers in it and tug. Kibum was really unfairly good-looking. No wonder the modeling agency had snatched him up.

And those tattoos went further down his right shoulder than Donghae had imagined.

"This?" Donghae's wandering gaze darted back up at the finger Kibum had hooked through his leather choker, giving it a light tug. "This is just for me." Kibum's tongue ran over his lips, suggestive as the dark look in his eyes, blatant desire. "And maybe a little bit for you, hyung."

Finally, that honorific after it had been conspicuously lacking all night.

Donghae hadn't heard it from that mouth, in that voice, for three years. It undid him in ways he didn't expect, as the hard knot of lust in his stomach burst and flooded through him, nearly uncontainable.

"Jesus fuck, Kibum," he said, strangled. His fingers scrabbled at his own belt, struggling to undo it and push his jeans off his hips. "Get your pants off." Kibum. Kibum. What a fucking asshole. What a beautiful specimen of human being. Donghae didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or cry, remembering everything he'd once loved and once hated about Kibum all at once, everything at his fingertips as he knocked Kibum onto the bed and crawled over him.

They kissed, a surge of mouths against each other, a first for the night. Their tongues tangled as they pulled back and met again, angling one way and then the next, teeth scraping against teeth some times and not others. Donghae rubbed his groin against Kibum's and groaned into his mouth - some thin layers of cotton did nothing to hide how hot and hard they were for each other. The friction had him panting for more.

Kibum hadn't bothered to actually strip his pants off, but rather just pulled them down, underwear included, until they were hanging half off his hips. The hard edges of his zipper skated across Donghae's skin as he stretched cross Kibum's torso and tugged at the drawer on his nightstand. Kibum mouthed at his shoulder, wet and warm over the curve. Donghae fished around blindly for the lube and condoms, then withdrew, triumphant.

He found himself rolled over onto his back, hair flopping tangled into his eyes as his head hit the pillow. Kibum straddled his thighs, knees on the bed on either side of Donghae's legs. With a grin, he liberated the condom and lube from Donghae's grasp, intentions clear. Next, he swiftly freed Donghae from the confines of his boxer briefs, yanking them off and dropping them off the side of the bed.

"That's how it's gonna be?" Donghae asked breathlessly.

"Did you want to fuck me?" Kibum didn't sound bothered as rolled the condom onto himself efficiently, hands steady. Donghae's head swam when he began to slick himself up with lube, watching Donghae watch him.

"Maybe another time."

It wasn't like they hadn't before. Whatever way was fine, honestly. At this point, Donghae just needed a little attention. Any attention. He bit off a sound in his throat when Kibum slid one sticky hand under his right thigh and drew Donghae's leg up so his foot rested on the bed, knee bent and body open. He was lubed up with little fuss and ceremony, but the feeling of Kibum's fingers stroking gently, matter of factly, over his hole still made the muscles in his stomach quiver. He took a shaky breath.

Then the fingers slid in, unhesitating. Kibum knew Donghae's body. He knew what Donghae liked. The way he pressed inside in one long unbroken movement made Donghae arch off the mattress.

Kibum smiled faintly, heady and pleased. It sparked something else in Donghae, a need to wipe that expression off and replace it with something a little more desperate. Sex should be about mutual satisfaction, right? And god forbid anyone mistake Donghae for being a passive partner.

They didn't have to do this slow and careful. It'd been three years, after all. And the best thing about sex with an ex was that you already knew each others' little hang-ups and kinks.

Donghae's hands were hard when they fisted in Kibum's hair, jerking his head down for a rough kiss and tugging the rest of him along with it. His legs wrapped around Kibum's waist as he tilted his hips, fucking himself on those fingers and moaning, filthy, into Kibum's mouth.

Kibum had always liked Donghae a little slutty. Needy and begging for him. Donghae had always been happy to oblige and he didn't see a need to change his tune now.

Kibum's breath came out in a short burst against Donghae's lips before he slanted his mouth against Donghae's and deepened the kiss. The lazy, teasing edge from before disappeared as he pushed his fingers more roughly into Donghae, in and out.

"Just hurry up and fuck me, Kibummie," Donghae breathed against his cheek. His fingers closed on the leather choker from behind, around the back of Kibum's neck, and twisted into it. The leather bit into Kibum's neck, skin turning pale around the edge of the cord.

Not enough to cut off air. Just enough for Kibum to feel it as he got a good grip on Donghae's hips and then flipped him over onto his stomach. Donghae landed with a breathless thump against the pillow and lost his head for a moment, dizzy with the rough scrape of sheets against his cock. Behind him, Kibum chuckled and dragged Donghae's hips up until he found purchase on his knees. The shift left him frictionless and he moaned in protest.

Kibum fumbled a moment, and then he slotted himself against Donghae's entrance, slick and hot.

Donghae's breaths were ragged. He lifted his hips and twisted back. "C'mon. C'mon, fuck me, Kibum. I want you inside me."

Kibum grunted and pushed in, hips driving forward as Donghae clutched at the sheets and keened, high in his throat.

Donghae chanced a look over his shoulder, a glance through the shaggy edge of the hair in his eyes. Kibum was flushed and sweaty, eyes dark and hungry, arms flexing as he held Donghae still. His fingers pressed bruises into Donghae's skin with how hard they gripped him. Fuck but he looked good like this. Sex was such a good look on him. Had always been. More so now than ever, though, and Donghae wished he could reach out to stroke his fingers over the tattoos curling up his arm and shoulder, but instead he curled his fingers into the sheets and rocked his hips back. Kibum was no longer grinning and cocky like he'd been earlier, teasing; he was intent now, entirely focused as he canted his hips back, a long aching withdrawal, and then slammed home again. The way he stared at Donghae made him lose his breath, or maybe that was just the way he felt inside Donghae, a slow burn.

They were no longer playing, dancing around each other like they had been doing all night. Now it was frantic and careless, rough with need as Kibum held Donghae down and fucked him. Donghae's head dropped until it was nearly buried in the pillow, lungs burning.

He worked his hand around himself, fingers knocking against Kibum's as they both pulled roughly at Donghae's cock. Donghae hissed between his teeth at the friction, raw against his nerves. "Shit." But Kibum continued pumping his hips, drawing them higher, winding them tighter.

"I saw your performance," he said between pants. "With Heechul."

His thumb flicked over the head of Donghae's cock and Donghae shuddered. "What performance?"

"His Lady HeeHee one. And you, up on stage with him. In a wig and a tiny black dress and heels."

Donghae remembered that performance with a buzz of faint embarrassment. It had been fun, because being on stage was about putting on a performance, as Heechul had made clear over and over again - but yeah. He'd been in a miniature dress and a wig. Not much else.

"Baring your legs for the entire world to see," Kibum growled right next to his ear. "Did you shave, hyung? You must've."

His hips flexed again, thrusting hard as if to punctuate his question.

"And no safety shorts on. You know I saw everything? It drove me crazy. I wanted to just back you up against a wall and slide my hands up under that dress, jack you off. Or maybe just yank up that dress and feel you up, see you all nice and hard and wet. Harder to hide in a dress, isn't it, hyung?" Donghae's head fell forward as Kibum's words hit him hard in the gut, making his stomach tighten with want. He rocked helplessly into Kibum's hand, back onto his cock, with a choked cry. Kibum wasn't done. "Easy access, though. So I could put my mouth on you, suck you off nice and slow until you were begging for it."

He laved his tongue against the juncture of Donghae's neck and shoulder and gave it one hard, aching suck before pulling his mouth away, leaving Donghae throbbing.

Donghae swore under his breath as Kibum tensed around him, his fist tightening around Donghae's arousal and teeth clamping down on Donghae's shoulder. He moaned, broken and wordless. And then he was coming with a long shudder, hips pumping.

"Kibum--" said Donghae between his teeth as he felt the tension drain slowly out of Kibum.

This was not over yet. Donghae was so hard he could drill holes, Jesus Christ. He yelped as Kibum pulled out of him a sudden rough movement and rolled Donghae over onto his back. Before he could even catch his breath, Donghae found Kibum pulling his thighs apart and sinking between them. A hot mouth closed tight over his cock and sent the ceiling spinning above him.

Hands migrating automatically to Kibum's head and tangling in the sweaty hair there, Donghae stared blindly above him as he moaned and arched off the bed. Kibum didn't play around, swallowing Donghae down with intent, throat working around him.

His thoughts stuttered as Kibum sucked at him until he was spilling with a shout into that mouth, a long, shivering release.

Kibum's hands stroked the underside of his thighs gently, easing him through the lingering trembles. Donghae felt his chest expand as he drew in deep breaths and exhaled them slowly, sinking slowly back into himself. He still felt light-headed, hot, blood rushing back where it belonged. His wayward thoughts gathered slowly back into focus.

At the other end of the bed, Kibum pulled back and dropped a hand to strip off the condom. He tied it off and stood there a moment, eyeing Donghae splayed out on the bed. His mouth was swollen and red, and Donghae's gaze snagged there and stuck.

Had he always been so good at giving head? Donghae wondered dazedly. Probably. Kibum liked being precocious that way.

Kibum ran his free hand through his hair and glanced at the used condom he was holding. He grimaced.

"Bathroom?"

Donghae waved a weak hand in the general direction of the door. "Second door on the left," he said and watched the muscles in Kibum's back shift and flex as he strode, hitching his falling pants up, out of the room. He wondered idly if Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi were about to get another inadvertent show and snickered.

No outcry arose, though, and when Kibum returned, he was holding a damp washcloth. Donghae laughed a little - Kibum might be pierced and tattooed now but it looked like he was still the Kibum Donghae had known for years underneath it all. At least in some ways. Still surprisingly considerate. Stretching carefully, aware that parts of his body were already aching with new soreness, he rolled over onto his side and met Kibum's gaze with a grin.

"Not bad," he said, voice hoarse. An understatement, maybe.

Kibum smirked at him and tossed him the washcloth, letting him clean himself up. "Live up to your memories?"

"And more." Donghae didn't mind being generous with praise, not when he felt this lazy and fucked out. Man, he had really needed that. Not precisely what he had been looking for that night when he'd gone out, but for all its unexpectedness, it had been good. He licked his lips as he wiped himself off gently, still sensitive. All right. More than good. He dropped the washcloth off the side of the bed where it joined the pile of his clothes and watched Kibum strip the rest of the way. His dark pants came off at last, baring strong thighs that still made Donghae's mouth water a little. Naked, Kibum slid into bed from the other side, appropriating a pillow and thumping his head down on it with some satisfaction.

Donghae watched him, amused. "You're just going to stay the night, then?"

"Unless you're kicking me out?"

Donghae made a thoughtful face, like he was considering it. Kibum just raised an eyebrow. "All right, I suppose you can stay." Donghae gave in with a laugh and kicked him lightly in the shin, sliding his foot down until it hooked around Kibum's calf.

Kibum pulled him over until they collided, angles and elbows and sides. Donghae let out a grunt when he found his face nearly smothered in Kibum's collarbone - and then he reconsidered and let the tip of his tongue trace across those inked designs. Kibum's fingers flexed against his back, pushing him closer, as sucked hickeys into those tattoos. He liked the idea of leaving his own marks.

From the way Kibum's breaths were growing heavier, he didn't mind the idea so much either.

"Donghae," he breathed.

Mm. No more "hyung"? Donghae lifted his head, mouth slick and red from Kibum's skin, his lower lip easing out in a bit of a pout.

Kibum made a noise in his throat, half-turned on and half-annoyed. "Donghae." He sounded a bit long-suffering.

"What?"

"You're exactly the same." A nudge against chin, tilting it up. "Sexier," he admitted softly against Donghae's mouth, before pressing in and kissing him.

He wasn't the only one generous with praise tonight. Donghae kissed him back, a slow languid tease. They weren't in a rush anymore. His hands trailed in lazy patterns across Kibum's chest. He paused when his fingertips hit a nipple, which he teased a bit. "Ever think about getting a piercing here?"

"Maybe," was the response, practically a kiss. Kibum seemed reluctant to move his mouth away. "Like I said, the tattoos are temporary. The piercings, not so much."

It startled a laugh out of Donghae.

"What?" Kibum eyed him warily.

"You're not that different," Donghae murmured contemplatively. "But in a good way." Temporary tattoos then. The studs were at least real. The choker too. In some ways Kibum had changed and in other ways, not so much. Three years... Donghae had changed too, he knew. He tried not to think about what it meant or could mean for them. Three years of being apart and then tonight, a reunion of sorts. It could mean a lot of things, but he wasn't going to think about it now. It was easy enough to push the thoughts away when sleep was creeping up on him, the haze of contentment spreading its heavy warmth through his limbs.

He pressed one more kiss to Kibum's mouth, sweet and light, and then rolled away. "Don't kick," he mumbled as he settled into his own side of the bed. "We can talk in the morning."

Kibum snorted. But it seemed to come from a distance. Donghae reached out and patted him sleepily, thinking again that, no, this was not quite what he'd set out to find that night. All the same, it wasn't a bad result.

As he drifted off, he felt warm lips graze his cheek, practically a whisper of touch. And by his ear, a quiet voice. "Good night, Donghae-hyung."

***

The morning brought with it no time for thinking, because Donghae was startled out of sleep by the loud strain of his cell phone playing the latest hit from his favorite girl group.

"Are you kidding me?" Kibum mumbled into the pillow.

Donghae groaned and levered himself off the mattress, draping his upper torso off the edge of the bed to fish for his phone somewhere in the discarded pile of clothes. Blearily, he connected the call. "What?"

"Good morning, sunshine~"

Kim Heechul. Kim fucking Heechul. Donghae fell back onto the bed with a discontent sound, because he ached in places that did not normally ache. And as a dancer who woke up sore more mornings than not, after strenuous rehearsals, that was really saying something.

"What do you want?" he muttered, his voice thick with sleep and accent. He was not as his best upon just waking up. "God, what time is it, Heechul? Why are you awake?"

"It's nine in the morning and I just finished an interview." Of course. Heechul hated mornings too. If he had to be up, he wanted others to suffer with him. A miserable human being, Donghae decided, shutting his eyes against the morning light. Even from Japan, he couldn't let Donghae have a break.

He said feelingly, "I hate you."

"Rise and shine," Heechul said unsympathetically. "If I have to be awake dealing with people who don't know how to make a cup of fucking coffee, you can get up too. You have no idea! How am I expected to function if they can't even properly caffeinate me? And then the stylist, god. Japan's supposed to be on the cutting edge of fashion, right? Well maybe he didn't get his caffeine dose this morning either because that thing he wanted me to wear, it was unbelievable. I'd look more attractive in a potato sack."

"Yes, yes, you're very attractive in a potato sack." Donghae mumbled his reassurances, still half-asleep. At his side, there was a whuff of laughter and he cracked an eye open. Oh yeah.

Kibum was laughing a little, that familiar wide smile half-hidden in his pillow and behind his tousled hair. He looked young again, well-rested and boneless, with just a smear of eyeliner and a glint of those studs in his ears giving away the three years' difference.

Then he shifted, turning to face Donghae, revealing his collarbone and the tattoos, liberally dotted with red marks. Donghae's mouth, already cottony, went a little drier. He'd left those there, he recalled, a warm curl of proprietariness unfurling in his belly. Those just under his jaw, that one in the hollow of his throat, just under the dark leather cord, that one on the slope of his neck... Donghae swallowed, as his morning erection said a very insistent hello.

Kibum was still smiling at him and he was still holding the phone limply to his ear. Oh fuck, Heechul was still talking.

With effort, Donghae reeled in his attention and focused on Heechul's voice.

"--someone I hear in bed with you? Am I interrupting?" He sounded far too delighted at the prospect. "Did Lee Donghae actually go out and pick up a one night stand last night? Fantastic. I've been telling you you needed to get laid for months now."

"Fuck you, Heechul."

He just chortled. "Tell me at least, a guy or a girl? Hot, right? I'd expect nothing less of you, you know. I hold you to very high standards. It's a compliment, really."

It was too early in the morning for this. Annoyed, Donghae thrust the phone over at Kibum without a word. Kibum looked startled, but his hand came up to cup the phone automatically. Donghae shrugged irritably at the questioning look in his eyes and busied himself instead by shoving down the sheet and pressing the heel of his palm against his erection. It pulsed back into his hand, warm with sleep and blood. He grunted.

Kibum's eyes darkened, watching him, even as he said, "Heechul-sshi?" A pause. Donghae sucked his lower lip into his mouth and stroked himself gently. "This is Kim Kibum. I think our agents have spoken? We're scheduled to do a photoshoot together next month."

Donghae ran his fingers over himself, gentle and quick. He canted his hips forward incrementally, experimentally, and had to hold back a gasp as the movement made a sharp ache sing through his body and up his spine. Ah. Yes. Rough sex did that. It'd been a while.

Kibum was still holding some sort of bizarre conversation with Heechul, who, from what Donghae could tell in his unfocused state, was giving Kibum the third degree about their night together. Nosy as ever. Worse than his roommate. Apparently he thought that being some kind of super big star gave him the right to pry, or maybe it came from being Donghae's hyung, or - well, really, it was probably just because he was Kim Heechul. Donghae chuckled breathlessly as he ran a thumb across the slit of his cock, wetting it with precome.

"I don't know," Kibum was saying patiently into the phone. "We haven't talked about the future yet. I'm sure we'll let you know as soon as we decide." An edge of sarcasm, a roll of his eyes. But Donghae promptly blanked out the rest of the conversation when a hand joined his, sliding warm and slightly dry against his skin. He shuddered at the uneven drag, leg twitching.

"Mmhmm," said Kibum, eyes on Donghae as his fingers slid down to skim his balls. Donghae moaned, soft.

"No, I don't think so. I'm not really into sharing." Such a noncommittal answer as his hand worked Donghae lazily, too much sensation and still not enough pressure. Donghae whined in the back of his throat, pushing his hips forward.

"Yeah, see you soon, sunbaenim." A little laugh. Dark, amused eyes and a flash of white teeth. His hand tightened briefly on Donghae. "I call him hyung."

Then he hung up - finally, thought Donghae hazily, rather put out - and leaned over to kiss Donghae properly, his tongue finding its way into Donghae's mouth. They probably both had awful morning breath, but neither of them seemed to care. Donghae was personally far more concerned about the way Kibum had dug out the lube from god knows where on the bed and was slicking up his hand.

"God, yes," he panted as Kibum worked him in a tight fist. He thrust his hips forward helplessly, digging his fingers into Kibum's shoulders, teeth grazing Kibum's throat and jaw and ear haphazardly until he finally came, shuddering.

Kibum was hot and hard against his hip when he rolled Donghae onto his back and pinned him there, kissing him hungrily. Together, they fumbled at him, hands slippery with Donghae's come and lube, until he tensed up and came with gasp.

He collapsed onto Donghae afterwards, sweaty and sticky.

"Good morning," Donghae hummed into his cheek. His heart felt light, happy. He could get used to starting every morning like this. Someone else's hand was always better than your own. And even better than that was the possibility of someone else's mouth. His own mouth turned up a wicked little curve at the thought. Oh the possibilities indeed.

"Good morning, hyung." Mmm. He did use that term like a weapon. "So did you want to talk?" Kibum asked him after some time, shifting until he was no longer crushing Donghae. He settled his head against Donghae's shoulder.

"Eh." Donghae wriggled his fingers a bit in the air, as noncommittal an answer as he could give. "Seems like you did all your talking with Heechul. We can just figure it out as we go along."

Because really, talking was overrated. So they had broken up three years ago, what did that mean? Nothing really. It wasn't three years ago anymore, after all. Whether they were the same in the right ways or different in the right ways, maybe it would work or maybe it wouldn't. They wouldn't know unless they gave it a shot. Provided, of course, that Kibum was even interested in giving it a shot.

The hand stroking down his side indicated, he acknowledged, some interest. "At some point," Donghae said, comfortable and unwilling to move, "I'm gonna get out of bed. Get some food. Traumatize the roommate."

"If he fucks his boyfriend as often as you say he does, I doubt he'd be that easily traumatized."

"There's a world of difference between seeing your boyfriend naked and your roommate naked," Donghae said knowingly.

Kibum laughed. "Speaking from experience?"

"Let's just say there are some things about Kyuhyun I'd rather only Zhou Mi see." Donghae made a face. Beside him, Kibum pulled his head away and sat up. The morning light was warm on his bare skin, filtered through the blinds at the balcony doors and highlighting slices of shoulder and back. He leaned over the side of the bed, head disappearing momentarily as he rooted around on the floor. When he reemerged, he had his pack of cigarettes and a lighter, standard black and nothing special.

The smoking was new, Donghae thought. He had yet to make up his mind on it.

"Do you mind?" Kibum sent him a questioning look.

"Balcony, please." Heechul hated smoking. He'd tried it once and given it up instantly as an awful habit; his vitriol against it was well-known and everyone who worked around him knew well enough to take it out of the room when they wanted to light up. Donghae had grown accustomed to being more or less smoke-free these days, having given up the occasional cigarette in the past, but he couldn't deny Kibum reminded him just how attractive the filthy habit could be.

"Kind of early in the morning for a smoke, isn't it?" he said as Kibum pulled his jeans back on, not bothering with underwear or a belt, zipping up carefully but leaving the button undone.

The look Kibum sent him this time was heavy-lidded. "That's like saying it's kind of early in the morning for sex." He tucked an unlit cigarette between his lips as he pulled the sliding door back and stepped outside.

When the door closed behind him, leaving Donghae alone in his bedroom, he sighed and flopped his arms wide to either side, staring at the ceiling. The events of the night and morning caught up with him in a rush, surreal when he thought, Twenty four hours ago I hadn't even thought about Kibum in years. Twenty-four hours ago he'd woken up, stumbled out of bed, and gone directly to the studio with a pit stop for breakfast along the way. He'd rehearsed the new dance he'd just finished choreographing for some countless time, working out its kinks and hiccups, and had wrapped up early for once, eager to take the night off. He'd had no idea he'd end up here a day later, wrapped up messy sheets and sore in different places and marked all over by Kibum's hands and mouth.

Facing something like a brand new path in life that hadn't even been a twinkling of a possibility just yesterday.

Donghae wasn't one to dwell too long on thoughts like this, though. What was, was. So things changed, but that was life. He took his chances and rolled with the punches - it was why he'd dropped out of university three years ago to pursue his dreams, that golden opportunity to make something more of himself. He'd done pretty well for himself, hadn't he?

So here was another chance. Let's go.

He smiled to himself and turned his head. Between the blinds, he could make out Kibum leaning on the railing, sucking on his cigarette and staring out into the city. His dark hair curled down his nape and just over the edge of the leather choker around his neck. Donghae was still endlessly drawn to that cord. He entertained, briefly, an array of different fantasies involving it.

Happily distracted for a bit, Donghae eventually pried himself out of bed with a stretch and a yawn, swinging his feet over to land on the floor. He tugged on a pair of clean boxers and a t-shirt. Another glance out the balcony doors and Kibum met his gaze through the glass. He tilted his head and smiled, a quieter version of that familiar, devastating smile.

Donghae's toes curled, maybe. He shook his head at himself and went to brush his teeth.

Kim Kibum. For better or worse, he seemed to be back in Donghae's life. Who knew where things would lead from here on out?

His smile grew into a grin, wide and expectant.





--

Started: 2011.03.12 | Finished: 2011.03.18

Notes: I was rolling innocently through the tropical green countryside of the Philippines in a van when Usher's DJ's Got Us Fallin' In Love came on and planted this idea firmly into my brain. It refused to let go. It also refused to become more than porn. Very voluminous amounts of porn that utilises some of these pictures, provided by the helpful @ikmubmik himself. Oh, and Donghae. Um.

Porn-writing tends to be an exercise in frustration and tedium for me, with occasional highlights wherein I interrupt my normal conversations on unrelated matters with my poor unsuspecting friends with random interjections of "Oh god, did Kibum already put on a condom? I think I already had him put on a condom." (This happened. I fixed it, so no double-layer protection for Kihae!) Or "god, I need to flip Donghae over, fuck," or "I made them come! At last! \o/" (That last one is really worth celebrating. It took a while.) The problem with writing stupid amounts of sex over a number of days is that I frankly just can't remember what I aleady had them do... But now it's done and they've come and all is well!

Also. There is no such thing as gratuitous Qmi. No, never. That's like saying that fics without Heechul should exist. Lies and untruth, you guys, such filthy lies and untruth.