[DN/PoT] Number One Hit, PG, Crack/Humor, Ryoma/L

[meiface.livejournal.com]

moonythestrals wanted Ryoma/L from a Death Note/Prince of Tennis crossover, with cake because she's on crack and lives to make my life difficult. H0r. I hope this fic makes you laugh, anyway, and that you know of Aozu. (Prince of Billiards episode! You'd better!) So.


Number One Hit
Death Note/Prince of Tennis, Ryoma/L, PG, 530 words
In which L and Raito are fanboys.


Number One Hit
by meitachi

Raito quickly closed the browser window when he heard L approach behind him and settle into the computer chair beside his. He looked up to find L's dark eyes regarding him.

"That would be another 2% increase," he said, "if I hadn't already seen your screen. I didn't know you liked Aozu, Raito-kun."

Raito gritted his teeth and braced himself for the taunting that was sure to follow.

"I'm very happy to have found another fan," said L, sounding pleased. Raito looked at him disbelievingly. "They're having a concert in Tokyo in two weeks. Would you like to come with me? I won free tickets from their site. Everyone on the Blue Juice forum was jealous."

Against his better judgment, Raito agreed.

--

Ryoma closed his hotel door behind him and then stopped abruptly, staring at the two figures in his room. One was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, and the other was crouched in one of the chairs. Both were staring hungrily at him.

"Who are you?" he asked, frowning. "How did you get in here? I'm pretty sure this is against the law."

"I have my methods," said the one in the chair.

"Me," sighed the one standing, with a dramatic roll of his eyes. "Well, and Aiber, I suppose," he admitted grudgingly. "Bodyguards really do get special access."

Ryoma was momentarily distracted. "Oh, is he Tezuka's new bodyguard who keeps hitting on him?" He found the entire thing rather funny, though he'd never say that within Tezuka's earshot. Especially considering how tense he was lately. Ryoma moved further into the room, dropping his jacket on the bed and seemingly unperturbed by the strangers in his room. "You know, that's illegal," he added. "Tezuka's only fifteen."

Two sets of eyes blinked at him.

"That can't be right," said the figure in the chair, his eyes wide. "His height and body mass...the structure of his bones and muscles...the deepness of his voice. It doesn't compute. There is a 25% chance that he is under twenty, but even factoring in the margin of error, there is a 0% possibility that he could be fifteen."

Ryoma shrugged. "It's true."

The one standing snickered. "And that makes you, what, twelve?"

"Yeah."

Eyes widened. "You're lying." He gave the crouching one an appalled look. "You told me the official stats were falsified!"

"I told you there was a 3% chance that I would be wrong, Raito-kun." A shrug and then inconsolable muttering, "But fifteen. That's impossible!"

Ryoma watched with interest as Raito-kun, very pale, walked past him and said casually, "I'll just be next door with the one who's at least over the age of consent." He opened the door.

"Give my best to Fuji-san," said the other.

The door closed. Ryoma gave the figure left with him a curious stare. It stared back at him, eyes bright under all that hair. "You still haven't told me who you are."

"You can call me L. I'm your biggest fan. Will you sign my shirt?"

--

"We had cake," said L smugly back at headquarters. He speared a strawberry with his fork. "He ordered room service." There had also been a lot of grape Ponta which L had discovered a fondness for, finding it sugary enough to satisfy his sweet tooth.

"He's twelve," Raito told him in disgust, not mentioning that cake sounded infinitely better to the wasabi sushi Fuji had offered him.

"You're just jealous that he didn't touch your nipple while signing your shirt," L said with great dignity.


Started/Finished: 12.28.2006

Tell me the idea of Fuji/Raito does not frighten you. :O