ugh, my retarded drabbles are always kangteuk

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Written on the plane from Beijing to Toronto.

Apparently, when I can't sleep, I write crappy faux-angsty KangTeuk. Augh.


Leeteuk has liked the girl for six years and Kangin doesn’t know how to tell him that she’ll never like him that way. They are all friends, because even Leeteuk would have given up after six years of no hope—but their friendly relations, occasional drinks and easy laughter, always leaves him clinging to that last bit of wistful dreaming.

Kangin wishes Leeteuk would let her go and give some other girls a chance at winning his heart. He only wants to see his hyung happy. Leeteuk more than deserves it, the hopeless romantic that he is.

Kangin is also being selfish, though, in wishing Leeteuk will move on. He knows it even if tries not to acknowledge it, even to himself: he’s been in love with the same girl for months now too. Not nearly as long as Leeteuk has been, but years of hearing why she is wonderful has culminated in his own crush, and though he feels both guilty and angry at feeling guilty, Kangin wants her for himself. He is almost certain she will say yes if he asks her out, too, if her recent flirtations are any indication.

But he won’t—can’t—make that first step until Leeteuk is out of the picture, happy with someone else. He owes his best friend that much if nothing else.

In the end, it might all be hopeless. She’ll have moved on while Kangin stalls and tries uselessly to help Leeteuk move on, a fruitless task when Leeteuk remains single and lovesick. Kangin may end up winning nothing, neither love nor absolution, but he can only continue on this path, regretting nothing. He can’t do it any other way.

Heechul would call him stupid. Even Eunhyuk would suggest that he not put Leeteuk before his own interests, not this time. But Kangin will never be able to do it otherwise, because, as much as he likes this girl, he has always loved Leeteuk more.


AND WHEN I SAY "LOVE" I MEAN "AS HIS BFF". :| Because that is how they are. And it's amazing.