[Super Junior] Only (For) You, PG, Romance, KiHae

[meiface.livejournal.com]

100th SuJu fic!! Go me. I need to get another fandom, lol.

Sequel to (You) Might Have Been (Mine). KiHae, kind of a happy ending. You'll have to decide for yourself.

Only (For) You
Super Junior, KiHae, PG, 1175 words
When you love someone, you will say the right thing.


Only (For) You
by meitachi

When Kibum finally returned to Korea for good (for now), Donghae was dating Jessica. Again.

It was almost surreal. Kibum had to check that he hadn't inadvertently stepped back in time - but, no, he was no longer the tiny little trainee he'd been, Kyuhyun was around, and Heechul's hair was different . He was in the present, and Donghae was dating Jessica. Again.

"How did this happen?" he wanted to ask, but he didn't know if he had the right. Not after so long.

So he watched them silently, taking in every smile of Donghae's and begrudging Jessica for being the cause. He couldn't hate her, not when he knew her, the person she was, and he would even go so far as to call them friends - but he could envy her, and he did.

It was hard to get back into the swing of things, with the hectic preparations for the It's You comeback. He was thrown into intensive dance rehearsals, and it was frustrating to struggle along after months without practice. It was harder still to see Donghae laughing and dancing so easily, so happily, as if he had no other care in the world.

But maybe he didn't. After all, it was Kibum who had all the emotional baggage.

***

"Could you be any more of a stalker?" Heechul asked in exasperation, roughly pushing Kibum in the back of his head. "I don't think you stared this much when you were fourteen."

Kibum rubbed the back of his head and glanced at his hyung. "I don't know what you're talking about," he tried, shrugging.

"Oh god, wipe that expression off your face," Heechul exclaimed, sounding horrified. "All those months in America really killed your acting skills." He sniffed and sank into the folding chair next to Kibum. "Honestly, Kibum, a rabid squirrel would be able to pull off a better innocent expression than you. Too much time out of practice."

Kibum made a face and sighed. "I know." If anyone did, he did. He felt his lack more sharply than ever these days.

"Don't be such an emo kid about it, honestly." Heechul crossed his arms and looked across the room, where Donghae was on the phone, amidst the other milling members and tech crew. They were scheduled to go on radio soon, but technical problems were keeping things hectic and behind schedule. "Curious as to how he ended up with Princess Jessica again?"

Kibum admitted nothing, only shifted his position in his seat.

Heechul smirked. "Yah, I can still read you, you know?" He crossed his legs and sat back, arms still folded over his chest. "Well...everyone thought she was interested in Jaejoongie, since they were talking so much, and netizens were getting all crazy about the rings they had. But they were only friends. She was only talking to him about how seeing Donghae back after China was really weird because she was starting to like him again and...well, they ended up back together. Funny, huh?" He glanced over at Kibum, who stared at him.

"How do you know all this, hyung?"

Heechul winked. "Gossips don't share their sources," he said cheerfully, putting a finger to his lips. But then he turned serious. "Do you really still like him, Bummie?"

Across the room, Donghae was laughing and speaking animatedly into the phone, even as he attempted to trip Eunhyuk as he walked past. Kibum let out a long sigh, but he couldn't help the small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Yeah. I can't help it."

There was just something about Donghae.

***

They weren't the friends they used to be, this time around. They were busy, and Donghae was dating Jessica, and Kibum was trying to remember how to fit in. Things had changed. The thought weighed Kibum down, but he told himself he was acting like a twelve-year-old girl and that he needed just to get over it.

But while he was surfing the internet one night after a long, exhausting day, he ran across a picture of him and Donghae from the movie set.

I miss that, he thought.

***

"Do something about it," Heechul told him briskly. "Stop moping around like a twelve-year-old girl getting her heart broken for the very first time. Say something.

Kibum rolled his eyes. "It's not that simple, hyung. He's over it. He's happy with Jessica. I don't want to screw that up for him. I mean, if they managed to get together a second time, it has to mean something, right?"

"Doesn't matter," Heechul said, and he made it sound so easy. Kibum shook his head. "No, listen to me, Kibum," Heechul continued, punching Kibum in the shoulder. "It doesn't matter if he and Jessica are meant to be and are going to end up married and have two point five adorable fat babies. You have to at least let him know where you are. For your own sake. And maybe he'll turn you down, but he should know, and you owe it to both of you to tell him." He glared as Kibum opened his mouth. "I'm not done yet. Look, I don't care if you're scared or you think it's hard, you go do this because it needs to be done. And at the very least you guys can work towards being friends again, because that's what you really miss, I know that. Because I know everything, stop questioning me."

Kibum couldn't help chuckling. Kim Heechul, incomparable.

"I guess I'll try."

***

"Hey Kibum," Donghae said with a smile. "What's up?"

"I, uh, was wondering if we could catch up sometime. You know, since it's been so long, you in China, and me back in the States with my mom..." Kibum's heart tripped over itself and he eked out a slightly shaky smile. Despite all his intentions to be a man about this, Donghae left him feeling like a twelve-year-old fan meeting her idol for the first time. Or like a boy confessing his feelings for his first crush. Either would apply in this case, he thought sardonically.

"Sure." Donghae slung an arm around his shoulders. "We'll find sometime after all our crazy schedules, yeah? I feel like I haven't seen you in years, but it's only been months. Man, time flies." He made a face and then grinned.

Somehow, Kibum thought, smiling back, Donghae made it so easy.

***

The day Kibum and Donghae were going to their Official Catching Up chat, Heechul texted Kibum.

Did you know Seasoning and Gamekyu are together?

Kibum did, but he didn't know why this was relevant at all.

***

"So, you and Jessica. Hyung, such a player," Kibum teased over coffee and sandwiches at a quiet cafe tucked away on a small street.

Donghae just looked embarrassed, laughing. "No, it's not like that! I dunno...she's really sweet. I love her a lot." He shrugged. "But I don't know if it's meant to be, you know? I'm not sure I can see myself marrying her...but maybe that's just 'cause of how busy we both are right now."

Kibum sipped at his coffee and carefully said nothing. He let Donghae know with his eyes to continue.

Donghae slouched a little in his chair. "I guess I just don't know if she's 'the one', you know? But maybe she is. Maybe I've just been crazy idealistic or something. Unrealistic." He waved a hand around, expression perturbed, eyes downcast. "I mean, I've always wanted to get married and be a dad, but it's hard to imagine now, when we're so tied up in performances and schedules. I love it, really, but it makes imagining the rest of my life kind of...weird." He looked up at Kibum. "Am I making any sense at all, Kibummie?"

He took a moment to answer, to think about what Donghae had said, and what it might mean in light of his own feelings. His heart still flipflopped a little whenever he saw Donghae, especially whenever Donghae smiled. He still sometimes daydreamed (daydreamed! like a twelve-year-old girl, he thought, annoyed at himself) about kissing Donghae. But more than that, Kibum had missed the easy friendship with Donghae - the teasing, the jokes, their different perspectives on everything...

Kibum put his coffee cup down.

"Hyung," he said. "I want to tell you something."

Donghae turned wide, curious eyes on him.

"I love you," he said. "And I want the best for you. So listen...there's no such thing as 'the one' or 'the perfect person'. If you love someone, you put the effort in to make it work. It's hard now because of who we are and what we do, but...don't give up too easily, okay?" He smiled a little ruefully. "Everyone knows you love Jessica a lot. Don't let your doubts cloud your judgment."

He felt better than he had in weeks, maybe months, as Donghae's expression across the table turned thoughtful. He picked up his coffee cup again and hid a smile behind it when Donghae's expression cleared with a smile.

"Yeah, you're right." He reached over and patted Kibum's arm. "Thanks, Kibummie. I've missed you being all logical like that." He stuck out the tip of his tongue slightly, falling back on something familiar, teasing. "I've missed you. I'm glad your mom's better. No more disappearing for months, again, okay?"

Kibum shrugged off Donghae's hand with an equally familiar mischievous glint in his eyes. "That's enough, you big sap. Don't go being a crybaby now."

"Hey!" Donghae exclaimed, mightily offended.

Kibum continued teasing him. I've missed you too, hyung, he thought fondly. And in the end, this was what he wanted back.

***

"I took a chance," Zhou Mi told him, "because Donghae told me to. Because it's important not to miss out on your chances when you have them."

Kibum nodded. "I'm happy for you. But I didn't pass up this chance. I chose something else more important to me."

Zhou Mi's face broke out into a wide, bright smile. "Then I'm happy for you." He paused and then added sunnily, "You two can both come to my and Kyuhyun's wedding!"




(Elsewhere in the dorms, Kyuhyun moaned to Sungmin, "What possessed me to start dating him?" Sungmin only laughed at him, because everyone could tell Kyuhyun was smitten.)




--

Started: 2009.05.06
Finished: 2009.05.13